fall out boy will save you from sleeping

damn salvatory pop music with secretly literate lyrics!

fall out boy have done it again: blessed me with an album that toys with my need to listen to music loudly and alone, while screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs hoping the neighbors don't beat down my door. if i take an inventory of my ipod's "most listened to songs" almost every song by the band makes it into the top 200 songs (out of 5500). pretty good i'd say, and i also think it's time to put them at the top of my list of favorite bands. i don't care if hipsters hate them. 

i can't stop singing. 

has anybody actually sat down and thought about the idea of santa?

basically an overly-jolly (liquored up?), overly-fat man dresses up in a red and white fur suit he found at a thrift store and proceeds to give every good child in the world something made out of wood and glue that he snapped together in his garage.

his transportation? a pack of deer that were, at some point, domesticated and live off of pixie dust and happy thoughts. the pack leader is a scrawnier deer with a cold (red nosed). santa's cart is a red model-T with the roof hacked off with its wheels traded in for skis.

our holiday hero is believed in by many unassuming 6-year olds, which is encouraged by their parents for reasons that nobody knows.


http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html#utm_campaign=en&utm_medium=mapshpp&utm_source=en-mapshpp-na-us-gns-gm

I guess I just thought the whole idea of santa is quite ludicrous when you actually think about it.

At any rate, Merry Christmas.

polishhhhhhhhit.

i hate that i am paralyzed by my perfectionism.

i cannot even complete a blog post about something substantive because it is so far from polished.

i am such a verbal processor, that this written processing is hardly cathartic.


anyway, more thoughts on the way, but let it be known,

"I do not want to be in full-time vocational (especially pastoral or evangelistic) ministry
and
I am scared that God is going to make me do it anyway."

And now that I said it out loud, I am doomed.

oh, the pressure of being a WASP (White, American, Sexy, Protestant).

I'm going to go on a run now. Aaron Michael Green, of Brea, California, and I are running a marathon in April and a half-marathon in February.

A Christmas Meeting of the Minds

Tally-ho fellow scholars, seminarians, and titans of culture!

As Christmas approaches, so does a return to California for those of us who have shunned it's sunny shores. I feel compelled to try arranging a meeting of the minds, capitalizing on our brief proximity by sharing our thoughts, our experiences, or even our takes on aspects of theology if so inclined. Anyway, all are welcomed (even those who don't write on this hallowed board), if we could only decide on a time and place. 

Chicago

Hey gents!

This isn't a real post (as in one about art, culture, spirituality, etc) but instead one to say that I now live in Chicago! It is beautiful here, and snowing. 

BTW James, I got your messages and will call you tomorrow! I'm just tired at the moment, and desire sleep. 

Homosexuality

Now that the election is over it seems (at least here in southern California) that hype, both for and against, prop 8 now merely glows reminiscently, like a setting sun. But this does not mean the issue has been resolved. Nay, contrary to popular belief, there is more to the Christian life than simply seeing that a proposition securing marriage between a man and a woman stays intact.

It is still our duty to love our neighbors. And whom are our neighbors? Well, the Bible is pretty clear that it is everybody we come in contact with...(even "Christian" advocates who sold their time on street corners over the past month holding expensive signage).

Guys, I must admit, I still struggle with the homosexuality topic. I find, within context, nowhere that Jesus speaks against the lifestyle. This is not to say that I agree with it. I believe that a the biology of a man and a woman fit together so beautifully. And not only that, but nothing compares to the way a man and a woman can complement each other. But I also believe that I am unsure as to how to keep my sin under control. It seems that I do it all the time, and my confusion as to how to live a perfect life becomes even more apparent to me the more I do it. Thus, based off the fact that I sin, and on the fact that Jesus does not seem to tell the homosexuals of his time (see the argument on the link below) to get lost, I too need to look on them with as much love and acceptance as anyone else. I must pray continually for them just as I would by best friends. For my best friends commit willful sin also, right? And do not I also?

I was taken by this article. It is a definite MUST READ. I won't spoil it for you, but basically one man (a self-proclaimed conservative Christian) visits a seminar entitled, “Homosexuality is Not a Sin…It’s a Blessing from God.” This was enough for him (and me) to be hooked. I hope that this article sheds some light on the issue for any of you who also conclusively struggle on this issue as well.

metaphor one

A few years ago, I went to the Getty to see an exhibit of artwork from a monastery (which I believe was near Egypt?). Amongst other things, the exhibit contained many tapestries woven together with thousands of different colored threads that depicted religious scenes and such.

Now with paints, we all know that the artist can mix different pigments to obtain new colors. The same is partially true of threads, although they are not directly mixed (obviously). When I examined a tapestry up close, I realized that two different colored threads running next to each other produce the effect of a third color when viewed from a distance, simply because our eyes cannot focus on the tiny variations from a distance.

So, take a yellow thread, for instance. At times, it runs alongside a blue thread, a red thread, a black thread, another yellow thread. Depending on the thread it is combined with, the overall effect changes. The blue and yellow threads blend to create an effect of green, while up close the two colors cause each other to stand out in contrast. The red and yellow are more sympathetic with each other, and add warmth to the overall scene. When black and yellow meet, the yellow shines bright and is unmistakable, even from afar. And two yellow threads will bolster each other into a band of gold.

We are like this of course, every one of us. There are certain aspects of other people that only we can draw out, and aspects that are drawn out of us only by certain people. At times we clash, at times we sympathize, at times we shine bright, at times we join together in strength. It is necessary to understand the ways that everyone around us brings about these aspects, to understand just how important relationships are. We may be individual people, with our own unique job to play, but from a distance, in the grand scheme of things, we are all part of something greater: a big picture woven by a true artist.

And think of this: it is not just for visual appeal that the threads are arranged the way they are. It is also for structural integrity. Remove just one thread and not only does the picture fade, but the tapestry falls apart as well.

because everybody needs a good laugh!

I subscribe to Brian McLaren's blog and this was one of his most recent posts. I especially like the Japanese example...

http://www.brianmclaren.net/archives/blog/economics-101.html
Thanks Brian.

"For those of you baffled by the global economic meltdown, the following summary of basic economic theory should be helpful. Some of it may seem familiar and you may feel you've heard it all before, but note that fascinating new information has been added, reflecting the latest analysis of recent economic trends ...

21 Economic Models ... explained with cows

The 2008 update

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute adebt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get allfour cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary toa Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder whosells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. Theannual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on onemore. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with therelease. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because youwant three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cowand produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cowcartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, andmilk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

this foolish heart

i saw your heart
behind the walls
of pain. of sin. of fear.

your scared heart.

my heart swelled
with warmth for you,
to overflow and fill you up.
your heart stayed cold.

my heart broke
with pain for you,
to show you someone cared.
your heart stayed numb.

i felt your heart
inside its prison
of steel. cold, aching steel.

your scarred heart.

my heart bled
with passion for you,
to lift you up from despair.
your heart turned away.

your lonely heart.

i smashed my heart
against the bricks of your soul,
leaving bloodstains
leaving lovestains.

my heart saw the stains
of another, of Him,
on the outside.

on the outside only.

will the blood of Christ heal a concrete heart?
will the blood of Christ heal a concrete heart?

the young lover, aged.

the hyacinths in your eyes are all

i see now. they once 

shook in your hands and lived

as the wind beat our love to tears - 

our blood the frightened 

petals, brilliant and wet. 

i smell each petty

flower, sitting

by my window. the pane lightly

cracked with age and the tepid 

evenings of young love's humidity. 

outside, your bones

are burning below the surface

of an oak tree.  

Vote for...

...good old John McCain (emphasis on old).
...Barack Obama (emphasis on Barack Obama).
...Jesus (sorry Shane, but no).
...Ross Perot (ok, best possible option yet!)

Personally, and give me a big fat slap across the proverbial wrist, via your comments, if you wish, but I didn't vote for president.

That's right: VOTE NO ON PRESIDENT!

Why did I throw my vote away? Why didn't I do my civic duty to vote for whom I felt would best run our country, or at least for the party that I felt would best represent our country?

First, I don't believe I threw my vote away. Really, I think that no matter what a politician says he/she is going to do, not much will actually change, thus, I could have voted for the moon and we would still all be living in a democratic nation, sipping lattes, and gasping at the collapse of the world as we know it.

Second, I think that neither (not either) major candidate is best for our country, thus why I didn't vote (and I didn't do any research on the minor parties, so I didn't feel equipped to make an educated vote for one of the others...though I did consider the Green party ;) ). I truly believe that neither candidate has it right--but if I may pose a question: does any candidate ever have it right? and what exactly is "it"? What consititutes a "good" candidate? I can tell you this much: we will never have a consensus on this, meaning somebody always goes home to cry in their beer.

I am really just ready for this nonsense to be over with and for our country's government to leave the break-room and head back to actual issues: Uganda, poverty, balancing budgets, securing justice, freedom, etc.

keep the sabbath holy

hi everybody!

for awhile now, i've been thinking about what to post, if anything. i've enjoyed the different things that people have posted, and thought i'd go ahead and start something...

... for awhile now, i've felt somewhat frustrated, almost as if there's a tightness around my heart. you know that feeling that you get when you feel so "disconnected" from the loop, but you're still somewhat connected? i've been so busy lately, actually *too* busy. i definitely need another day added, just to relax and do all the things i want to do... but what i know is that i'd probably fill in that time with things that i don't need to do, because that's what we as humans tend to do.

a year or so ago, i took place in a sabbath thing that my quasi-old church was doing- what they did was offer the same service for two weeks, and tell half the church to show up for the first week, with the second half attending the second week. we all learned a lot about the sabbath, what it was like/is like, et cetera. it was very interesting.

i know that the lord rested on the seventh day and saw that it was good. many people say that jesus is our sabbath, thus we don't need to "rest" during the week- i totally disagree with that. although i have not read much of the Word as of late, i've thought often about jesus and what He was like. sometimes he needed to be away from everybody, including his disciples; other times he surrounded himself with his disciples; yet still there were times when he surrounded himself with thousands, and placed children upon his lap. this guy was just surreal, but when you reframe your mind and experience the paradigmatic shift that recognizes jesus as the lord and giver of life, you can't help but see that this dude was completely in balance, or if the scale was off, it was still perfect. as an observant jew, jesus certainly did observe the holy day of the sabbath ("keep it holy," his father (who-art-in-heaven...) said). there's something important, and something we're missing here, in the western church, when we don't know what the sabbath means. i'd like to know more.

lately, i've been going to a calvinist church (all saints reformed at brea olinda hs) but i don't identify myself as a calvinist. however, everything i've learned/heard about at that church has made me feel like i've been spiritually fed a five-course meal, instead of mac-n-cheese (which can be good in its own right!). i have so much to go in my "christian" journey, and within a calvinist framework, i'm having a hard time with five-point calvinism (if anybody knows what i'm talking about). 

jesus is the way, the truth, the life.... that verse, however cliche`, is still one of my favorite (if not *the*) sayings of Jesus. 

i'm literally yawning. dang, i had so much more i wanted to talk about/inquire/et cetera. but i'm glad i finally got something off my chest/mind. also, to be honest here, i'm torn between mccain and obama. i have been *way* out of the loop with this most recent political election, but i've been leaning towards obama (but i can't shake the fact that supports abortion). i'm having a HUGE issue right now regarding proposition 8. what would jesus have done if he were in nazareth/jerusalem and a similiar ordinance was being passed to ban/permit gay marriage? how did jesus interact with politics/culture- (the mixture of the church and state is where he suffered.). oy... i sometimes think i'm making no sense whatsoever. okay goodnight for now. 

-ssl

I hate politics

I knew our presidential hopefuls were doing some uneccessary railing on each other, as has been the great american presidential tradition--whoever can outspeak the other wins the office position. It is ridiculous. But honestly, read the blog below:

http://burnsidewriterscollective.blogspot.com/2008/10/john-mccains-latest-strategy.html

I know Obama is probably not the best leader for our country, and I also know that I wouldn't want to brag about McCain being our president either. Honestly, who wants to follow a leader who has to stoop to the level of making shit up about his opponent JUST to win an election? That is absurd. Frankly, it is embarrassing that these men (Obama with his overly optimisic and unfortunatley seemingly unrealistic promises; McCain with his worn-out war-hero jersey and bully-ish political tactics) are the two we've chosen to potentially lead us.

It makes me want to stay away from the voting booth, to be honest. I hate this stuff. I know Socialism is not the best idea, especially not for our economy (again, an issue I am not comfortable saying either candidate has a good plan on), but at least then we would all just have to pay more taxes and would all get free health care--and the poor would at least be taken care of.

Then again, Im no political-guru, so one of you probably knows something about politics, and socialism, that I don't and can probably level me on this area. Please do it, educate me.

All I am saying is that I am even further from supporting any one candidate than I ever was before. Its my vote, and its a shame that folks who support the major parties scoff at those who vote "independent" or "green party," but honestly, I am going to have to look into the aforementioned parties, because I am fed up with this Republican/Democratic bull___. The name calling is childish, and the plans for the future are wildly unrealistic and probably nothing more than a political move to "tickle ears."

there, I am done venting.

the introduction

hey guys. it has come to my attention that i've been invited to post things on this blog and that i have not yet done so. for the past few weeks, the internet at our apartment has been down, and so was reliable access to the blog. this break in service was due only to the fact that, since august, i have not gotten our isp bill paid. so it was my own fault, really. but i got it taken care of, so here goes nothing.

throughout my life, there have been continuous echoes of gutless irresponsibility on my part. from dropping out of high school with a less than 1.0 GPA, to taking seven years to amass 32 credits at a junior college, to slacking off on this internet bill, i have to wonder what my deal is. even today i didn't go to school because we had a presentation due, which was assigned nearly three weeks ago. i put it off until last nite, thinking it would be easy to bang something out. when i was on the verge of anxiety attacks, i realised that i couldn't get it done, and i had only myself to blame. i was too flippant with the assignment, allowing myself to push it to the back of my mind because it's only worth 4% of a final grade. but it reflects a pattern that is discouraging, to say the least.

it just makes me wonder why this pattern still exists. shouldn't the irresponsibilities of youth have been shuffled off with adulthood? have i yet reached adulthood? or will the road towards maturity last my whole life? i just worry that someday, when i have a wife and kids relying on me as well, i will struggle with these same issues and turn into a deadbeat. i just don't want that to happen.

in other news, i had a dream last nite that i was scouting out a place to propose and get married to someone. i found this awesome place on a cliff on the oregon coast, and was getting all the necessary booking info to plan a wedding there. the place was perfect, and i was overcome by the beauty and romance of it all. then i realised that i had no clue who i was supposed to be getting married, or even proposing, to. i was just a lonely single guy making plans for something that i hoped someday would happen, but had no guarantees towards. how depressing!

i find myself often thinking about things out of order, setting up plans for the future with no solid foundation in the present to lead to them. and the way this habit relates to love, idealism, and how i find my personal worth is definitely a constant topic of thought in my mind. and so anything i post on this blog will most likely be woven from this fabric. there's my introduction.

the DOW: whatever and ever amen.

Every day, my personalized gmail page lets me know how the DOW is doing. I didn't ask for it to do this, I just wanted to get a feed of the top news stories. It turns out that this hypothetical number is just that popular. 

Now, as much as i'd enjoy reveling in this financial mayhem, using it as an opportunity to gloat over the comeuppance all wall street bigwigs are feeling - I can't. While I do love seeing the rich get poorer, I can't qualify that love with how much pure greed is about to affect the middle and lower classes. Many people who had nothing to do with the mortgage fiasco or unethical speculation will see aspects of their American dream blackened by limited credit, fewer loan opportunities and rampant inflation. This crisis will not limit itself to the guilty. 

So how am I to feel when I see that number do stuff? I found myself oddly excited on Monday after it grew by over 900. I thought, good for you, little number! I saw it like a little plant that was gonna make it - a three legged puppy with the heart of a champion. But in the past two days it's dropped over 1300 points. Obviously emotions are not trustworthy divining rods of our economic viability... as if they ever were. 

So the DOW. While it would do our country a lot of good if it got much bigger very quickly, that most likely isn't going to happen. We are just going to have to trust something (or some...one) more reliable then a number based on the speculative, hypothetical value of corporations who have enough money to be speculated over. 

Maybe I should start praying more. 

wasilla university debate

our hope breaks debates with faceless malice.

underwhelming plebeian armies face nuclear winter

with hockey talk: statisticians regurgitate woes 

in fanciful reds and blues. 

mangled man! stand tall and spew

sexist rhetoric to our underwhelming

excuse of feminist ideas! our bronze calf

with blond tips. swear allegiance to 

her menstrual cramps and campy allusions. 

oh representative of angry elites, bite 

off your mortgage with a vigilance bowed

to the chicken wing eatery. convince us of your 

flaws, your drawl, a feux ami prancing like

gold teeth in the caskets of our 

foreclosures. 

commit sins! commit your party

to imprisonment and impish 

eloquence: you black-tied

terrorist!

our god is an awesome god who

seeks to see you stumble. 

who crushed your kings with

women bathed in milky blue dresses

and berets. you frog. 

you filthy frog. 

all hail 

hail

her majesty the

spleen. 

you, who calls burden among the working

class, classless.

more proof that secular music can do good

seeing sigur ros cleaned months of apathy off of my soul. from the opening hum of glossoli i could taste hope on my lips. the unassuming 4 piece from iceland transported my imposing hipster persona to a place of forgotten innocence where single notes lit redemption like candles before the cross. to be transparent, my life has fallen into a garish routine. the job which only four months ago was celebrated as a blessing now seems endless, inane, and most dangerous of all: beneath me. i wake up late, stumble in tired, and numb my mind with endless noise from my stereo while aching for another paycheck. i see my customers as chores to be completed. after each week of this non-life, i enter into the weekend more exhausted than on monday morning: i sleep in late, spend money thoughtlessly, and avoid creativity like a mormon missionary. 

this post-college season which for years i had envisioned as a period of endless creativity and boldness has become a deformed animal which makes excuses, seeks comfort, and worships worthless idols with a cancerous conviction. yet god has always used music as a knife. slitting the wrists which throttle my throat, he allows me an undeserved breath not as a man on earth, but as a spirit in his presence. and sigur ros was the sharpest knife yet. their perfect noise reminded me of who i truly am. an artist. a believer in the power of hope. an advocate of my fellow man. not a slave to a pride which makes routine out of redemption: the quotidian out of the infinite. and that is why sigur ros are beautiful. not for their shows, their success, or their popularity. they are beautiful because they inspire others to stop forgetting who they truly are. so while aesthetically the concert was the most amazing i have ever experienced, it was far more profound than that. it was a holy moment. 

So what do you think?

This morning I came across this blog post. I read it and John Cooper's post directly beneath it. I even took the McCain vs. Obama quiz. I am interested to see what you guys think about this post (but primarily what Cooper had to say...), and to see if you quized out with the candidate that you thought you would (because I didn't!).

cheers.

ag

Loyalty to Loyalty, just listen to it a second time and you'll agree too.

I can remember when Cold War Kids put out "Robbers and Cowards." There was a great amount of hype in the music-critic world about the fact that the Kids were self-proclaimed "Christians" (notice I didn't say they were a "Christian Band"). It seemed to me that those critics almost felt like they needed to point out the aforementioned fact as if to say that they couldn't explain why music made my Jesus-followers was still so good. Call it God, Sunday School, or growing up in Orange County (cynical? yes, very), but CWK put out some damn good stuff and I really do think I would have said the same thing even if I didn't know I grew up going to church with them.

Fine, what was said was said, and honestly pitchforkmedia.com obviously speaks for an overly-critical minority (CWK has sold over 160k "Robbers and Cowards" and counting). I say, let the numbers speak for what people actually think.

But why, after PROBABLY only listening to "Loyalty to Loyalty" once, do critics still feel they must write CWK off? This review basically says the same thing that pitchfork's first review said of CWK. Essentially, they are too cliche, too in love with their own hype, and (regarding the story-telling behind certain songs--namely, "Every man I fall for") "as fantasy," their music is, "old hat and as reality, it just doesn't wash." 

Seriously?  It is my biased opinion (because I do feel slightly compelled to stick up for the guys, first because I LOVE their work, and second (maybe) because I am a Christian).  It is simply my assumption (and yes, I am passing a little judgment, but more toward a collection of critics in general and not toward an individual) that because the Kids were apparently "insult[ing]" the "intelligence" of a few overly-sensitive (to story-lyrics possibly about redemption?) critics, they felt they needed to automatically be critical of CWK again. 

I think that every album purchased deserves AT LEAST a second listen.  All kinds of distractions (lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of girlfriend, etc.) can play a part in how you might hear a certain album.  I know that if it wasn't for a second or third listen to Kings of Leon (i hated them at first), Pearl Jam, and Radiohead, I would have forever condemned them to the archives of dislike.  Admittedly, I did not like Loyalty to Loyalty a whole lot after my first sampling.  My thought is that over-worked, overly-feels-like-he-automatically-must-find-something-wrong-with-everything, critic guy working for pitchforkmedia probably did not give the album enough time to actually sink in and have impact (he wrote his article the day the album came out).

(obviously my views are almost fully charged with speculation, but this is a blog, and that's what blogs are for!)

a blog of interest...

I am literally sitting at a computer here at ECCU participating in a "New Employee's Orientation." Everybody is learning how to use phones, emails, and how to make coffee. While I love the thought of getting paid for something I could have done when I was 7, I can't stop thinking about how much money is being wasted right now :( . And I can't opt out of these silly things because they MAKE you sit through them. Whatever...

In other news, you all might find this link interesting.

ag

Yet Another Inspirational Tidbit

  John Steinbeck wrote, "'It's almost impossible to read a fine thing without wanting to do a fine thing.'"  This simple quote has been resonating in my soul over the past two weeks.  I began thinking about all of the fine things I have read since I started to take my faith seriously.  A book called "The Irresistible Revolution" instilled in me a desire to spread God's love to a group of homeless people living under a bridge.  Reading someone else's blog about building homes and helping the people of New Orleans created an urge to follow suit.  Reading books like "Searching For God Knows What" caused myself to write bad poetry about my relationship with God.  Reading "The Pastures of Heaven," the book that the quote above was taken from, bestowed upon me this enormous want to build a freaking house.  I'll be honest, even hearing a kick ass song makes me want to write the next song that every indie kid on this half of the globe will be whistling or singing along with as they walk down the street in their tight pants.  My point being, every time we see or hear someone else's impact on the world, or just us, our heads begin to rise from their standard lowered positions and dream up grandeur-like ways of impacting others.  

Steinbeck also wrote, "No one knows how greatness comes to a man.  It may lie in his blackness, sleeping, or it may lance into him like those driven fiery particles from outer space.  These thing, however are known about greatness:  need gives it life and puts it into action;  it never comes without pain;  it leaves a man changed, chastened and exalted at the same time - he can never return to simplicity."  I've tasted greatness.  I've had the pleasure that comes from a ministry that God has blessed.  I've felt the conviction that I need to rely more upon my savior.  Now that I know these feelings I cannot return to simplicity.  I want to build a house in God's name.  I want to learn an instrument so I can write absurdly indie songs about how God has changed me.  Most of all, I want to be set in a library of great, inspiring works so that I might be inspired.   All with hope that God would instill in me an urge to glorify Him through the want to do fine things.

thoughts on the name

Honestly, I hope this title doesn't come off as arrogantly "way too smarty mcsmarty pants," because its not -- at least that was not the intent behind it.

At my work they have all employees take a "strengths test" so that we can all be placed in the best possible position/atmosphere. Whether or not i actually agree that a 100 question quiz that I answered "3-undecided" (whereas 1 = absolutely not; 5 = absolutely yes) on more than half of the questions can actually determine my "strengths" as an individual is besides the point. What i want to state here is this: one of my strengths is "connectedness" and one of our tasks as busy-bee officees is to read through the description for each strength and decide what we connect/agree with most.

So as I was reading through this particular strength i read this:"...we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious."

(drum roll.......................... AND IT WAS BORN!)

//the collective unconscious//we are individual writers responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless part of something larger.

But allow me to elaborate on what I think this means. Everybody has thoughts, and everybody knows that. I was talking to a good friend recently who was explaining that he felt community is vital. It is "...so important to our own personal growth as individuals." He went on to say that our thoughts are refined and corrected by what and who we experience. He said, "its a damn good thing we don't know what each other are actually thinking about" (motioning to an invisible bubble above his head). Most of the time my thoughts would be downright incoherent and/or irrational to any other being that is not me. Therefore, within the confines of a group of individuals (mostly among those we trust) our thoughts become molded and formulated into something new and probably more rational. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we somehow compromise ourselves or our beliefs. Rather, I am sure that our "first thoughts" on something reflect just how "unsure" about things we really are!

So, we are individuals. Good. Next, we are "...responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will." A great man once said, "ideas have consequences." Granted, this quote requires hours of thought and writing and arguing and beer, so I won't really go into it other than to say that when we make decisions (i.e. judgments), inevitably we face opposition (whether it be from people, nature, God, etc.). This is why community is so important. I know people who have said (in their youthful enthusiasm for freedom) that they don't need anybody; that they could live alone somewhere for their whole lives, and that they don't need a church (what ought to be the epitomy of community) to be a Christian. What they are actually talking about is that they resent being confined. Nobody (and this is something I am convinced of) can productively grow, mentally and spiritually, without the influence of others in their life. Argue with me. Do it! (This is one of the only things I will ever be all dogmatically hard-pressed about!)

Our will is a heavy load. What we decide is "right" or "appropriate" or "tolerable" in every instance will inevitably conjure up something/someone that does not agree. It is our decisions, however, that pave the road of our future. My hope is that this blog can be a group of people (yes, I am not opposed to women being included, though we may want to stray away from this just for the purpose being able to say whatever the damn, hell, ass we want) that refine each other; that don't let others go into life believing whack-job things without first thinking about it and relating with others in gathering their perspective too. This blog is for whack-job, ridiculousity (yes, i made that word up, but i hope it adds to my emphasis). This blog is also for sound refinement, if we so choose. At least, that is what I hope comes of it. Again, we can just post screw-ball crap all day long, but at least we'd be in community, which brings me to the final portion: "but nonetheless part of something larger." I don't know how much more I need to elaborate on this because I have probably jumped the literary gun in already talking about community. We (every man in this group) are brothers in Christ, and until we decide (up for debate) to invite those who have not decided to follow Jesus, this is a brotherhood of growth that is part of the larger community and Kingdom of Jesus.

The Collective Unconscious=the group of us who bring together natural, inherent thoughts that aren't necessarily planned and sifted through (what might be called "conscious"), for the purpose of becoming refined thinkers and enlightened people.

whew,
ag

the orator

his hands quivered in the dark, looking for something. what it was did not matter to them, they were cold and tired. aching from the light time. yet for richard, the search was much more than an unfortunate break from rest. he needed her voice, and his hands were the only method he had left to find it. she was no longer with him in the darkness, when the soft sounds of his bed would harmonize with their dual movement. his left hand landed on cool plastic. 

would she answer? of course.

would she listen? he did not know.  

his fingers dialed her number from memory. the contours of the keys substituted for the angular curves of her cheek. 

-hello? a soft voice meant she had been awake. the darkness was with her as well. 

-i love you. 

he paused after he spoke, straining his ears for a hint to her reaction. for the smallest grain of salt to season his imagination. for a whisper from the past to breathe itself out through her pink lungs and into everything he knew and kill and kill and kill her fear. 

then he hung up the phone, his hands scuttled back underneath the sheets, violently digging themselves into each other. 

he couldn't feel how his words entered her body from this distance. the time since last holding her to him had deadened his souls sensitivity. he couldn't see the blue halo surround her as she smiled. it had been three years since last talking to her. three words for three years spent alone, conjuring thoughts of her ghost onto the lonely left side of the bed. he waited for the morning in a thick silence. 

Les' Intentions

For my initial contribution to this forum, I shall be posting chapter installments of my first book, based on the adventures of Aaron Green & myself, as we toured the US on our bicycles in the summer of 2008. I want the book to have the feel of On the Road written in a Donald Miller style. It will convey the adventures and fascinating stories [many of which made their way onto the blog], but will add commentary, emotion, questions, doubts, and important lessons that may or may not have been the direct intentions of the Holy Spirit.

I welcome critique (on style and structure, viz., I want to book to be readable and fun and dramatic) and I welcome input (especially on what you think God may have wanted to teach me...assuming He wanted to teach me anything at all - and assuming it required me writing this book and asking for input in order for me to realize such a lesson. But hey, divinity works in mysterious ways, amen?).

I will probably also dabble in some theological + sociological conversations about life purpose + responsible action.

Awwwww, shit, I'm excited.

JLR

The newest post this blog has ever seen...

This is the first. More than anything, however, this is a test-run to mess with colors, adjust viewing capabilities...blah blah blah.

I truly have great hope that this blog will be to us something quite special. We are all quite unique people and have plenty to say and truly, one grows the most in community (debatable? maybe, but I don't think it is, but then again, feel free to disagree for such is encouraged here!)

Also, for some of your more artsy fools (delani, les - looking in your guys' direction...) spruce this puppy up. My opinion is that this site should look intellectual (yet witty), insightfully intriguing, and just plain sharp.

That's all for now (mostly because ECCU is paying me to be "working" now), so here's to a timeless amount of inspiring conversation!

ag