The crowd is just as loud, excited, and rowdy. The pungent smell of marijuana envelops the standing-room area. Empty plastic beer cups litter the cold, sticky floor. The fat guy in front of me is sweating heavily through his blue, plaid shirt, and I have the privilege of being crowd-mashed up against his hot, stinky backside. I think it’s been about 20 minutes since I’ve breathed normally. He and his friend are yelling louder than anybody, but at least it’s entertaining. I crane my neck over toward Jared and give him a sarcastic grin. He cracks an uncomfortable, yet hopeful smirk. Aaron, Jared, and myself have waited two months for this moment. We’ve spent money we don’t have; drove hundreds of miles; drank countless ounces of coffee, all just to be here. Suddenly, the lights dim, the crowd erupts, and four skinny figures take the floor. We yelled too, our voices vagrant in the madness. Blood is pumping, sweaty arms are reaching higher than ever, bodies are crammed even closer to the stage, and our Kings had yet to even strum a single note. We had arrived, finally.

We watched sexy guitar-playing in front of blinding lights, smelled odors with reluctance, and readily allowed our eardrums to be blown out of this world. The Kings came, played, and went. It was glorious. But the whole time I couldn’t get a certain thought out of my head. It is a thought that I have had before, especially more recently. It is swimming with wisdom, but is flattened by a newfound sense of un-enthusiasm. Perhaps this has happened to you too, that is, you’ve found yourself beginning to understand vanity a little bit better. I am referring to this: while standing there, acting like an idiot among thousands of others doing likewise, whilst watching the Kings play, I was not filled like I used to be.

The first two times I saw the Kings, or the first few times I saw the Cold War Kids, or Radiohead, I was filled with a feeling of awe and respect, and (as odd as this sounds to me) a desire to mimic and adore them. Truly, seeing a band you love play live is incomparable. They are the bringers of ease in times of panic, or the providers of energy in times of sluggishness. Their music settles the soul’s debts like nothing else can. Music for me is an ally—a comrade who agrees to help get me through certain points in life (both good and bad). But, today music has left its place of honor, glory, and ecstasy in my life, and has been replaced by something else, something other. Music absolutely still has a huge place in my life—that is not up to debate. Rather, I have found that where it and its young, passionate creators (like the Kings) used to sit, now sits a passion for a real difference and closeness to be accomplished in people’s lives. All cliché-ness aside, I want people to know Jesus and the power of his ministry in and through their lives.

Ironically, Caleb (the Kings’ singer) belted forth a track I am sure little to none of the fans in attendance had ever heard, myself included. I don’t know the name of this piece, and frankly it sounded improved anyway, but within it he sang,

            I won’t sell my soul to the devil,

    I won’t sell my soul to the devil,

            No, I won’t sell my soul to Lucifer…


(…other lyrics…)

 

I won’t sell my soul to the devil,

            I won’t sell my soul to the devil,

            No, I won’t sell my soul to Lucifer…

 

            (…other lyrics…)

 

            I sold my soul to Jesus,

            I sold my soul to the Holy Ghost,

            And nothing can take me higher.

 

I was thrilled to hear Caleb sing something like this! For those of you who don’t know, the Kings are notorious partiers, and open partakers in sex. I could build a solid case with handfuls of their songs to support this idea (e.g. “Taper-Jean Girl”, “Molly’s Chambers”, “Sex on Fire”). It is no secret that many rock stars live these kinds of lives, it is just that the Kings are far more open about it! And in his familiarly blatant style, Caleb talked about the power of Jesus in his life. Now, he and his brothers were raised by a “Holy-Roller” (a traveling evangelist/preacher), but as they started to grow up they noticed some serious flaws in their Father’s practice, namely his abuse of his position to be with women other than his wife (listen to “Holy Roller Novocain”). From interviews I’ve read, it sounds like the Kings have been pretty turned off to the faith from examples like their Father, and who could blame them? Also, because their dad probably represented “morality,” and eff’d that up pretty bad, then it makes perfect sense that they’d turn to drinking, ladies, and partying.

Up until the second to last song (the one about Jesus) I couldn’t stop thinking about how this band used to represent so much more to me—how I would kill to see, meet, and really, imitate these guys. I was disappointed. I was longing for the feeling I used to have about watching my music heroes. But at the same time I can say I’m fine with never feeling that sensation again, because if I can be honest for a second: I was making them into gods—idolization at its best.

But almost as if God was tracking with my thoughts that night—as if he knew and felt exactly what I felt—he threw in a curve ball that caught me completely off guard. Caleb professed a dedication to Jesus. Now, I am not so naïve to think that this song could not have just been the residue of a life spent around such themes, and that to sing a song about Jesus these days is edgy and mysterious. But there is a chance that he truly meant it, and judging by his demeanor that night (i.e. he was far more cleaned up, no swearing, very very thankful that his fans came, and an overall gentle persona), I think he could be on the forefront of something incredible.

As we drove out of San Francisco this morning I could tell that it was on Aaron’s mind too. He mentioned the song briefly and then suggested that we pray for the Kings. “Hmm,” I thought, “when was the last time I prayed for people like this?” It is almost as if I place them above the power of prayer. I wonder now if some people haven’t been praying for them already. Regardless, I am going to go pray for them again right now. One of the most interesting and exciting things to see, in my opinion, is to see Jesus change people. It is breathtaking and invigorating. 

Here’s to more of that.